...which makes me highly unpopular in certain circles.
And I hate whiners because they are not doers, but cry-babies who need lots of attention, dedication and time, but give you nothing (apart from exhaustion). They usually cannot be relied on and only know you when they need you. I dislike whiners because instead of taking up a challenge, instead of trying to do something against all odds, instead of trying to do something, even if they're bound to fail (doing that), they sit comforably on their backsides and plunge into long and tedious conversations where they try to explain as fully as possible why something isn't possible.
From the life I've seen so far I can very assuredly say: you don't fail until you give up. Whiners give up the same moment a task is bestowed upon them. Whiners would (or appear so) like to do something, but instead of plucking up their courage, they give up on level zero, perhaps because it would too greatly inconvenience them to actually do what they claim to want to do. Or maybe they just don't believe in themselves.
Surely one knows a person who's been claiming half her/his life (s)he wanted to drop weight, but they never do anything. When they promise to exercise, they start their best couch- potato- imitation-mode (complete with a TV remote and a bag of crisps), when they shouldn't be eating chocolates they whine about being unable to give up chocolate etc. Their range of excuses and blindness (regarding their own actions) never ceases to amaze.
On top of such contradictory behaviour which has great pottential to unnerve a rational, responsible person, they often demand your praise and when you're not most keen to approve, they quickly either tell you you're not being kind and understanding with relation to their case or tell you off for being a bad, bad girl. If, by chance, they can hurt a member of your family/your intelligence/your achievements in the same go, they'll probably take their chances. (I wonder what the outcome was if the same dogged determination one employs in seeking revenge was applied to achieving one of their "goals"...)
In my book, life has never been easy. And even it if could be, I tried to get the most out of a situation. If I didn't believe this, I would never get up at 3 a.m. (at age 15 to study), would never choose medicine (as opposed to languages, which come almost naturally to me), would never attend ballet classes or start jogging on a regular basis, read so many books and tried to see as much of the world as I could. I wouldn't even keep a blog. For me, the winners in life are the ones who keep going, even if they're making small steps, even if they sometimes fail. People who are unable to persevere through the dull, the painful and the difficult never really see the beautiful.
Life hasn't been as easy as it could be for me. (Very, very cliche of me to point it out, but there you go.) I'm still fairly young but already I had to deal with four major disappointments - those of the sort that take a year and more to deal with. But I'm not crumbling, and at most times I'm not complaining. I grit my teeth, bring out my best and do it. True, there are moments when all you want to do is wallow in self-pity, but what really defines you as a person is that a strong, confident person will take a minute, then stand up and be ready to shoulder her burden, a whiner will just sit a bit longer to think what the most plausible excuse would be. The saddest part of the story is that whiners slowly begin to believe they're right. And when you try to point out that the circumstances are not so dire, that only a little bit more could be done, you get tagged - either you're the loser who has no personal life or you're a workaholic or control-freak of other sorts.
In any case - yes, let's finally establish this point: I like strong, confident people. I have great understanding for people whose life took an unpleasant turn and they'd like to change it. However, I have absolutely no compassion or understanding for people who decide not to do anything about their situation and wait for the situation to improve by itself. In the meantime they spend many an hour complaining how nobody understands them and how difficult it is for them.
I'm not devoid of all feeling, either. If I were, I wouldn't be helping in a hospice, I wouldn't decide to be a doctor, most probably a child psychiatrist. I wouldn't try to be there for people, to offer advice and support. I wouldn't be able to offer my condolences, my eyes wouldn't wet when listening to a personal story. But I refuse to accept people who try to hide from reality and they pretend it doesn't exist.
Fullstop. The end of venting.
DISCLAIMER: the going-ons over at Gaby's blog have nothing to do with the content of this article. Her post only served as a motivation to let out steam regarding my real-life experiences with a type of people I call whiners. I don't know Gaby in person and would never dare make such conclusions as are presented here. These, however are real experinces with people I've known a long time.
Labels: random ramblings