The butterfly effect
In a week I'm writing an exam. I can already feel the hypersecretion of gastric acid in my stomach (better known as the "butterflies"). I'm quite positive that this one exam will/should/could (?) go well. About the other one I'm less certain.
And then there's the everlasting "what if?".
Imagination into over-drive.
What if I fail both? What if I fail the more difficult one? What if I pass, but just barely? - Breathe. Inhale, exhale. The tiny voice in my head tries: "It's not as grim as it seems. Wait until you get there. Maybe you'll be fine. Most probably you'll be fine." But fails.
Again, I don't seem to be convinced. What if? I still have 14 days to go until the second exam. I'm slowly running out of time. I slowly begin to feel the white flames of panic licking my insides. Driving me towards insanity.
Breathe.
Steady yourself. You can do it.
Can I? At the moment everything seems so ... impossible?
I try to face the situation, try to prevent the blind panic overtaking my brain. To be master of myself. Do not let yourself repeat the stories of yesteryear. You still have half the time. If you use it well, you still can have at least 50% and more. What if I don't use it well? Yesterday was one long day - but I failed to reach the target. I barely studied 8 hours. Decidedly too little. Let's aim for more today.
But what if? Despite everything?
4 Comments:
I can't see any connection to the mathematical butterfly effect, but one can argue the other way around too, yes.
Hey, hard work always paid off really good for me. Will, should go well - sounds well to me. :)
Thumbs up for hard work.
Well, get yourself a sufficiently badass butterfly and *puff*, before you know it, you will be writing an exam on milking cows and folding paper napkins in a room full of giant purple octopuses wearing yellow shirts and baseball caps.
Thanks for your support, gentlemen and sorry for the lateness of the reply. And I think I'll rather stick to tested and tried techniques of green tea, ginseng and lots of positive attitude. :)
Just don't say I didn't warn you. ;)
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