Randomramblings

...if there's a single thing in my life I am beyond thankful for, then that thing was getting to know you.

How on Earth did that "no strings attached" mIRC friendship manage to develop thus far I don't know. It was work on my and your part, it was adapting as much as is possible to the needs of the other without breaking your own boundaries. It was talking, laughing, hugging, kissing, a bit of quarrelling and lots of love and understanding.

You're perhaps the first and maybe the only person who loves me just as I am and in whose presence I don't feel pressurized to be any different than who I really am. Very early on I felt I could trust you, talk to you earnestly, I felt you'd understand; - that there was no human condition you'd be unable to understand or at least tolerate. Very early on I fell for you and eventually we did come together although (because of my past) I was convinced that any relationship of mine was doomed to failure.

You are a very warm, positive, laughing person, whose goodness is just so much bigger than life. You're probably the only person who can appreciate the scope of my words when I say our relationship made me want to have children, to have a family and to be in a lasting relationship. You were the person all these years ago for whom I was ready to risk being hurt (emotionally), for whom I had the smallest hope and a love bigger than I would admit even to myself. You were the one for whom I felt ready to risk - going out and showing you how I felt.

Retrospectively, I didn't know what I was going to get in return for my bravery and openness. Again - it wasn't just luck, it was work on my and your side, for which I am enormously grateful. Hardly any relationship can last without pruning and watering the plant. You did not always insist on having the last word, you didn't want to break me. You adapted and accepted me and that has meant and still does more than I could say. For the most part of my life I've been given examples of what I should and could be, yet hardly anyone took the time to see who I am. You did.

I've seen you hurt, I've seen you down and the fact that you were brave enough to share those fragile moments with me is a testament to how much you trust me. And you know full well that I'd never betray you.

You've been with me through the good and through the bad and always, always had faith in me, even when I didn't have faith in myself. You supported, encouraged and loved me - and demanded nothing in return. Your selfless love and trust have been among the most valuable and enriching experiences in my life.

I remember thinking (when we started dating) that I'd be happy if we lasted 2 months. You said you wanted at least a year long relationship. Now we've been together for five whole years. The time it takes some people to get together, get married, have children and get divorced. But we're still as happy as could be. And if I may say so - I think I love you more now than I did previously. Instead of the love diminishing, it increases. I've been blessed in more than one way by having you in my life. I've become a different, a happier person. You did not save me, I saved myself - but your presence made me want to be happier, different.

I am no prophet, but I think we have a very bright future ahead of us. I am incredibly happy with you, I love you completely. It is bliss beyond imaginable.

Happy anniversary.

Labels: life