Randomramblings

So, you've decided to try your hand at blogging. Nice.

But do you think you've got what it takes to make a good blogger? I doubt it. Somehow, the people who really write good blogs are few and far between.

If you're a journalist, you probably know what I'm talking about. Everyone can write; however, expert mathematicians have realized a couple of years ago, that a certain bell curve usually applies to masses of people with one thing in common. That being said, it should come as no surprize, that the increasing quantity of people who blog, does not generally mean an increase in the quality of blogging. But should you wish to be a success as a blogger (and possibly earn some cash along the way, too) you should be an extreme - as I have demonstrated - they're very hard to come by.

1) You can be an intellectual. Like Einstein, but in the blogging business. An intellectual having a blog would imply that you deal with serious topics, you constantly seek and demonstrate new knowledge and consider it to be a mission of yours to educate people - to enable them to see light in the(ir) darkness. With the realization of your superiority come some side-effects, not all of them pleasant. Usually such subjects acquire an air of smugness and horribly obvious vanity along the way. Some people need not even be very smart or outstanding - if many people (perhaps out of curiosity) visit their blog, they consider it to be because they're sooo good - and it's God's way of making sure there's justice in the world. Also, they usually find it to be another one of their little missions - to educate people about writing a blog properly. (And as a side note - there's no wrong way to write a blog. Perhaps it's not wise to be abusive and malevolent, but it might just as well be a success.)

2) Or you could be stupid. Or pretend to be, which is even better. The news of your blog (and its contents) will spread like a viral infection, everybody will gather and gawk at your entries. Should you decide to go this way, be forewarned! - rude comments might spring up in no time. People are usually frustrated thinking that they're not smart enough. And when they see or meet a person who is so decidedly beneath their level, they've got to express it - let you know of their superiority. There's something to bring happiness to their lives again - everything is not so bad if there are people around you who are less intelligent, less beautiful and (above all) socially inept.

Because a blogger is a modern geek. Already there are T-shirts saying "I'm blogging this." or regular Blogger shirts. Let the world know who you are! A blogging celebrity.

But how to be one if you're neither stunningly smart and refuse to act stupidly? They key to becoming well known and popular is to have many visitors. And force visitors to leave comments. Because as we might have all guessed - blogging is all about getting feedback. It's easy for journalists to be such vain people, because hardly any criticism ever reaches their ears. But with blogs that isn't so. And the more there is to criticize, the more comments you will get and the more well known your blog will become.

At least that's how I think about my blog - because it's perfect it doesn't need any comments. Or is that because it's so boring? And me so obivously lacking the ability to make people laugh?

Either way - a lesson learned - one must also be funny. Forget seriousness and politeness! Bring out your best jokes and tricks, because we all know that what people want these days is to be entertained. The feeling they have to strain their brain to understand your blog won't add much to your popularity.

(More about making your blog popular coming next week. As the amount of comments and my web counter show, I'm experienced in making every blog a success. Actually, I'm starting to think I shouldn't be so good at it - you know - give others a chance, too, so they don't feel like failures at blogging.)